When You Pray But Nothing Changes

“What do you feel like it would take to be healed? Is the Lord putting anything specific on your heart about it?” Our pastor has been calling regularly to check on me and pray with me. “We have all prayed and prayed for healing. That should be enough…” I couldn’t help but cry. My Shepherd [...]

Beautiful Words

"Your test results are really good." My doctor smiled. Oh what words! I am one year and five months into a medical treatment that is projected to last for three to five years.  It feels like each day of the past one year and five months has been giant.  It's been a fight.  One step [...]

Tended To

The pain was sharp but short-lived. I didn't even look to see what had happened. But a few miles later as I turned the steering wheel, there was blood. Something had sliced the inside of my thumb as I drove along. The cut was not terrible but deep enough to bleed nicely.  Like a paper [...]

This cold is a good thing

"This cold is a good thing." My doctor's words confused my snot-filled brain. This cold had hit me hard and fast.  On Monday I felt fine at work.  I came home to our sick kids and within an hour I was huddled on the couch in misery.  What is it about the common cold that is [...]

Journal: Gratefulness Reflection

Eight nights and nine days.  Sadly, not the length of a glorious vacation.  My husband has been on a gig on the other side of the country.  This is the first time I've been on my own with the kids since my treatment began.  I was afraid I wouldn't be strong enough or well enough [...]

God watches my every move

Beeeeep. My heart monitor beeped and the communication module activated. Why?  I have no idea!!! The monitor is set to be activated by four specific heart activities.  Four concerning heart activities. Apparently, my heart did something concerning and I was TOTALLY UNAWARE. It's like I don't know myself at all. I need monitoring.  I am [...]

A different day

One: Clothes. Loose, comfy and warm. Two: Wear no metal. Three: 2 Litres of water. Tuesdays are different from other days. Slow down. Divert from the usual. I have to be purposeful and deliberate. At first it was really inconvenient.  It takes mental energy and extra time.  It messes up my usual morning pace and [...]

Changed vision

I walked past a lot of people at the Mall yesterday.  They were walking, chatting, eating, smiling, shopping, planning, dreaming and living life.  A new feeling smacked at my heart but I don't know a word that encompasses it. I've been hesitating to write about it because I feel this will be easily misunderstood.  So [...]