It was a terrible sad cry. A mix of pain and desperation. It was coming from our child at 6:30am.
I brought her into my room so she wouldn’t wake her brother. I consoled her and she calmed down enough for me to ask why she was crying.
“I want it to be seven-thirty but it’s not… (wailing sobs began again)”
7:30 is play time. When her little digital clock says “7-3-0,” she knows that quiet time is over and play time begins. Today 7-3-0 is coming too slowly. Today 6-3-0 is unbearable.
Oh my sweet child.
“There is nothing we can do to speed up time or skip ahead. You need to be able to relax and enjoy the time it is.” My words were not just for her.
Sigh. How often I do this. Wanting to be in a different season. A fun season. A season of playing and joy. How often I lament the season I’m in.
This week I’ve been side-swiped by three days of weird doctor appointments. Each day another wave barreled over us. And I am squirming against the oppressive weight of this week.
It feels unbearable.
After my daughters tears this morning, I have decided to do something practical today.
Amidst administering doses of medications to the three of us at home, I’m baking a cake. A cake that we can all eat and enjoy. Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, Sugars-Free, Soy-Free, Rice-Free, Oat-Free, Metal-Free.
Today, my friends, I am going to sit down and eat cake. I am not going to clean the bathrooms. I am not going to do laundry. I am not going to work on anything. I am not going to push and strive against this season. Today I can’t. I would wail. I would lament.
Instead, I am going to relax and enjoy the time it is. I’m at home with my two little ones. We are too sick to go anywhere. But we can eat some cake.
I am not saying that the way to approach hardship is to do nothing and eat cake. I’m just saying that today, that’s what I feel to do.
I’m going to enjoy the time it is.
_ _ _
The cake is cooked. The kids are having their rest time. The sun is shining. And I feel good.
Funny thing is, baking a cake has changed me. I was overwhelmed. But now I feel hopeful.
Slowing down and enjoying my season has given me the joy and energy I was craving.
I think I’ll do a load of laundry. 🙂
You revive my drooping head; my cup brims with blessing. (Psalm 23:5b MSG)