Wattle trees in bloom. Thick air laced with tropical smells. Glorious bird songs. Heavy warm rain that falls from giant clouds. Everything bursting with life. Sunshine fuelling the land. And its people. A fuel for joy and creativity. Australia is a special place.
This time at home has been so good for me. For five weeks, I have shared life with my parents and my children, together, in the city of my childhood. My yesterdays and my todays walking hand in hand. My heart is soaring!
“It’s my impossible dream come true. My parents have met my son! My children and parents are together! Right now, my sweet 4-year-old is sitting on my Mum’s lap and they are chatting away. It is medicine for my heart. These days are so precious. Each moment feels like a not-to-be-missed photo opportunity but all my energy is being used simply to keep my eyes open to see it all.” – Journal, March 4, 2013
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Literally two days before I heard my dad had been ill, Yahweh had been healing some deep layers of my heart about the guilt I feel about leaving my family. I had shared with my husband that I felt God had freed me from the desperate emotional need to go home I had been feeling for some years. Then, two days later, Mum sent an email about Dad being sick. After I no long “needed” to go home, I needed to go home. My church family and dear friends heard about his illness and gave sacrificially for the kids and I to go.
I landed in my homeland with a totally new state of mind and heart. Our Father God had prepared me for this trip. And the whole time we were there, He kept peeling away at the layers of my heart.
The Holy Spirit spoke the same thing to me over and over through family, friends, church sermons, and some strangers too: It’s a new season with fresh beginnings. Let go of yesterday and step into the new day.
He has uprooted old stumps and is planting new things.
It was not easy to leave my family again. Same airport. Same view of my sweet parents waving through the glass security wall. But this time I came “home” to the US with anticipation for God’s plan unfolding in my life here. No longer feeling so stuck in my past, I’m leaning into today and tomorrow with new hope and new joy. Moment by moment, day by day, year by year, Yahweh is transforming me and bringing me into His freedom. I am expectant and excited.
Yahweh is my home.
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. (Phil 1:6 NASB)